What Is Connection?

The WinWin Model explores the foundations of human deep connection.

We draw the distinction between 4 Types of Communication in our training. They are:

Speaking AT

A lot of people believe that if they are verbalizing their thoughts they are connecting with the other person; but most of the time this is far from the case. There are distinctions between speaking at someone, having a conversation, communicating and connecting.


A Conversation is a two-way interaction, while Speaking AT someone is generally focused on one-way communication. Having a two-way conversation may be better than speaking AT somebody because it’s more equal.

As we define it here, a Conversation is the sharing of logic, which can be very powerful when people have facts and figures to share. However, […]


Communication is the next level of interaction. People who are truly trying to communicate are focused on the sharing of meaning. Communication is much better than conversation because in Communication people try to pick up on what is behind the words rather than the words themselves. In other words, Conversation is the sharing of logic, while Communication is the sharing of the meaning of what the participants are trying to say. In this mode of interaction, the parties are patient with one another and are willing to explore ambiguities.


Connection is the most powerful mode of interaction. This is where we feel an emotional connection with the other person. We share our emotions and the other person feels comfortable enough to share their emotions as well. When Connection is achieved, both people open up and we can find possibilities that did not exist before. Creating connection is the aim of WinWin Conversations. Once connection is achieved, people have the greatest likelihood of meeting each other’s needs in a mutually beneficial way over the long term.